Television: WandaVision

I'm not a casual fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I know this because I read a review of this TV show that said "even casual fans will have noticed such and such", and I had not noticed such and such.

I really liked "Iron Man", "Iron Man 2", "Guardians of the Galaxy", "Doctor Strange", "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2", "Thor: Ragnarok" and "Avengers: Infinity War". I enjoyed "Marvel's The Avengers", "Ant-Man", and one of the Captain America movies. Maybe the first one? The rest did little for me. I had a hard time caring about the characters in them for one reason or another.

Oh yeah, I love the "Deadpool" movies, which are part of the MCU. Or the X-Men U.

So, before watching "WandaVision", I thought I was a fan.

I loved the television series "Watchmen" and the first season of "Legion", which are based on superhero comic books. Those set my expectations going in.

The first three episodes are parodies of earlier television series, with sets that closely resemble "The Dick Van Dyke Show", "Bewitched" and "The Brady Bunch". They mimic classic sitcom plots. The stars of these are Wanda, a human woman with magical powers, and Vision, a robot man with magical powers.

These episodes are not funny, or sad, or engaging on any emotional level. I watched Wanda and Vision and their neighbors act out predictable stories with a laugh track and wondered why any of this mattered to anyone. It was all tedious and I gave up on it after the third episode. But glowing reviews made me curious what others saw in it, so I watched three more episodes. Then gave up, then was curious, then watched the last three episodes.

The seventh episode was kind of interesting. It finally started to explain who some of the characters were and gave me some reason to give a shit. Apparently Wanda and Vision were both in some of the "The Avengers" movies. Those movies were so full of minor characters that I completely forgot about Wanda and Vision. Apparently if I remembered them, then I would have cared more during the first six episodes.

I'm a fan of lots of things. I love "Star Trek" and "Doctor Who", for instance. If Cyrano Jones pops up in a Star Trek thing or the Cufflink of Rassilon pops up in a Doctor Who thing, I will know what that is and nod, but I will also expect the script to explain it to everyone who isn't a fan (if Cyrano Jones or the Cufflink of Rassilon matters to the story).

I didn't know who any of the people in "Watchmen" or "Legion" were. I knew they were set in a comic book universe, but everything else I needed to know was in the shows themselves.

Oh, and we discover Wanda's dad showed her black market DVDs of American TV sitcoms when they lived in Fake Russia, before he was killed by Tony Stark. That's why she used her magic (she's a witch!) to make a reality based on those sitcoms. Her favorite episode is a really good one, the Dick Van Dyke Show where Danny Thomas is an alien (Kolak from the planet Twilo). I could have spent a lot more time learning about Wanda's tortured past. That was engaging.

But no. The eighth episode reveals there are really two big bads. The ninth episode drives a car into one of them and stages a Final Battle with the other.

I know some folks get off on epic CGI fights, but after Howard the Duck shot the Dark Overlord with a neutron disintegrator and destroyed the laser spectroscope in 1986, I've been over straight up Final Battles. I'm jaded. I need to be deceived. Some Scooby Doo mask, some hidden villain or hero, or some diversion from the real Final Battle, which was the friends we made along the way. Or some emotional engagement.

When the battle is over, Wanda ends up super powerful sipping tea and learning more magic in a chalet. Vision is dead, was never alive, but he somehow copied himself into a white version, who I hope will be called "Double Vision" or "Second Sight" but will probably called "White Vision".

For some reason Double Vision does not fly straight to the chalet to be with his one true love.

The bad government guy got arrested. The other government people are all OK. The townspeople are probably all in therapy now. I think Wanda's kids died? Or never existed?

And I wasted several hours watching this show and trying to figure out why so many people like it. When I confront them in person (aggressively, unapologetically) they say it was "just OK" or "entertaining enough". Fie on that nonsense. Life is too short for "just OK" entertainment. Demand better!